Squirrel Power!

Gardeners have one of the most challenging pastimes of all hobbyists. Other hobbies are usually under the control of one person and not subject to the various natural disasters in existence. Model airplanes don’t worry about being caught in a storm on their trip through the living room. Cross stitchers don’t have to fear wild animals coming and devouring their work (unless they have a cat with a gigantic appetite). Gardeners, on the other hand, face insects, drought, wind, storms, animals and countless other obstacles. Many of these can be repelled with a simple smell, a certain flower, or a large fence. However, few obstacles display the intellectual creativity, physical fortitude, and dogged persistence as the all-powerful squirrel. 

It’s never an easy thing to see your hard work devoured by an army of vicious rodents. Squirrels seem to be able to mount a precision offensive to capture or destroy any obstacle – particularly when it comes to vegetables or flowers in the garden. And if you happen to be the lucky gardener who tries to grow tulips or crocuses, the squirrels thank you. You are now the proud bearer of the Holy Grail of squirrel-dom. It doesn’t matter if you bury the bulbs – they have maps, they can follow the clues, and they know where to find them. The worst part is, if they can’t find their grail … they go after just about anything else you offer them.

Many people wonder how they can ever hope to mount a defense against the charging ranks of the squirrel army. How will they save their hobby from the rodents’ vicious jaws, sharp claws, and terrible appetites? They try to put up a fence, but squirrels can go over, under, or through just about anything that you put in their way. That’s how so many of them end up having a barbecue after trespassing into a power transformer.

Some people try to get dogs or cats to chase the squirrels. This is as futile as the fence. The squirrel can outsmart the cat because it has been raised in the wild, while the cat has been raised in the windowsill. The squirrel an outsmart the dog because … well, it’s a dog. Both of these defenses are like trying to catch a greased pig … another useless defense against squirrel-zilla.

Some people suggest that deer repellant works with the squirrels. Perhaps they are distant cousins. Or the deer serve as the mounts for the squirrel infantry. Regardless of why, there is at least some limited intelligence that this works and it may be worth a try.

But when it comes to squirrels eating where they don’t belong, there’s one secret weapon that seems to be successful: the dreaded red pepper bomb. It appears that the squirrel army can’t handle hot foods and red pepper seems to really set them off. They’ll stay away from your flowers, but if you use this technique on your vegetable garden, prepare to be cooking Tex-Mex style for a while.